Spotting autistic traits in children based on their age

Recognising autistic traits in children can be tricky. As a parent or carer, your brain might be fighting your intuition. You might feel that something isn’t right, but your brain is playing the doubt card, and you wonder whether you’re overthinking. But your concern is valid and shows your dedication to your child’s wellbeing. Autism is a spectrum, meaning signs can vary widely, but recognising these traits is crucial for getting the right support.

Let’s explore these signs by age. Hopefully, we’ll help you find answers to take you one step closer to determining whether your child has autism or not.

This blog covers:

• What is autism?
• Common autistic traits in children under five
• Common autistic traits in children between 5 and 11
• Common autistic traits in children between 11 and 16
• An Aspris success story
• How to support your child after a diagnosis

What is autism?

Earth’s tapestry is ornate because of human individuality – autism is a natural part of this diversity. People with autism have a different way of experiencing and interacting with the world. Rather than seeing it as a challenge or limitation, think of your child as having a unique “operating system.” Just like a computer running macOS instead of Windows, an autistic brain processes information, emotions, and experiences in its own unique way.

This difference brings incredible strengths, like creativity, focus, or a fresh perspective on solving problems. At the same time, it might mean navigating social cues or sensory environments a little differently.

Let’s take a look at what autism in children could look like depending on their age. Autism isn’t a one-size-fits-all condition and there are multiple ways a brain can be neurodiverse. So, whilst this article isn’t an exhaustive guide, we’ve split traits into three categories to cover the complexity.

Common autistic traits in children under five

First up, your little explorer.

Autism with a learning difficulty

Autism traits with a learning difficulty are often the easiest to spot. A child at this age who has autism will likely:

• Be non-verbal
• Have limited speech
• Enjoy repetitive play
• Not engage with other children

Autism without a learning difficulty

Autistic traits in children under five without a learning difficulty could include:

• Advanced language skills due to their unique cognitive strengths, particularly in areas like memory, pattern recognition, and focus. These superpowers can enhance their ability to absorb and use language in clever ways.
• An intense interest in certain things, which helps feed into their need for exceptional focus and knowledge. It can also bring them comfort when they focus on things they love in a world that can feel overwhelming.
• They may play alongside children or play with others at this age.

Autism with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)

A child with autism and PDA is usually presenting as neurotypical at this age.

Tools and skills to succeed – an Aspris success story

We were introduced to an 11-year-old boy. His autism meant he was struggling with challenging behaviour and wasn’t doing well at school. He received local authority funding to attend an Aspris individual setting where we gave him an education that suited his unique needs and ways of learning. At the age of 14, he decided he wanted to move back into mainstream education. It was here that he left with his GCSEs at the age of 16. The moral of the story is that he was equipped with the right tools to manage his condition. He regained his autonomy and independence because he was taught by professionals who understood him.

How to support your child after an autism diagnosis

If the points above have made you decide to seek an autism diagnosis, supporting your child as they discover who they are begins with you being their strongest advocate.

Here’s our advice:

Work with your child’s school

• Arrange regular meetings with teachers, school counsellors, and special education staff to discuss your child’s needs and strengths.
• Request an Individualised Education Plan (IEP) or something similar. Make requests that truly reflect your child’s needs, like sensory breaks, quieter workspaces, or social skills support.
• Share any reports, assessments, or strategies that have worked outside school to help teachers understand your child.

Fight for the proper support

• Get to grips with local laws and policies around disability rights and education. This knowledge will empower you to get the support your child is entitled to.
• Keep a record of meetings, emails, and decisions made about your child’s support to refer back to if necessary.
• If you face resistance, consider working with an educational advocate. These advocates could be independent volunteers trained in SEND who can guide you through the EHCP (Education, Health and Care Plan) process. They could also be from SENDIAS or organisations like IPSEA. Do your research to find out who’s got your back.

Advocate for your child

• Encourage your child to express their needs and feelings in a safe place to help them build their independence.
• Speak up for them in situations where they may struggle to communicate their experiences or needs.

Educate others

• Share autism resources with family, friends and your community to build understanding and empathy.
• Encourage peers and adults in your child’s life to embrace their differences by demonstrating acceptance and celebrating your child’s uniqueness.